Kingdom Hearts : Take 2
by naohiro
Summary: While filming scenes for Kingdom Hearts 2, Axel finds he cannot handle the pressure from his picky director, the constant pranks of his coactors and finally quits. Can a replacement be found or will they have to beg Axel to come back?
1. This Ain't A Scene It's A F0cking Mes

**Kingdom Hearts: take 2**

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**Prologue: This Ain't A Scene... It's A F0cking Mess**

"Roxas, alright! Fight, fight, fight!" A cloaked figure stepped out of the shadows giving a round of applause. His vibrant red hair stood spiked on it's ends, an almost creepy smirk curling across his lips from under his bright green eyes. He slowly approached the blonde-haired hero, his eyes fixed on him. What he wanted with the boy was uncertain to everyone but himself. Suddenly he let out a startled yelp as he stepped on his long black jacket and fell face first into the hard ground of the Struggle Battle Arena.

"...and CUT!!" the director shouted from the side. He shook his head in disappointment and gave an irritated sigh. "Axel, this is the third time in a row that you have tripped on your own damn feet."

Axel groaned as he pulled himself to his feet slowly and brushed the dirt off himself, "It's not my feet I'm tripping over... it's these damn COATS that you make us wear! It's too long!" He glanced up to see Roxas, his fellow actor and hero of the show trying to contain a fit of giggles behind a single hand. The blond finally couldn't hold it anymore as he bursted into a fit of laughter, holding his stomach with both slender arms as he nearly doubled-over from the hilarity of the situation before pointing a finger to his taller co-actor.

"You should have seen the expression on your face! It gets me every time!" Roxas could hardly breath through his laughs as Axel gave him a embarrassed-yet-angry glare. "It looked a little like this..." Roxas exclaimed as he gave a rather accurate imitation of Axel's latest head dive. Axel's face changed to a red almost that of his hair as the entire studio erupted in laughter. Everyone from the cast, crew, extras, and body guards were there and all apparently found the incident to be simply priceless. Growling under his breath, Axel roughly pushed past Roxas, knocking the boy to the ground as he hurried off the set and out of the studio. So maybe he was a little bit of a klutz. Is it really that funny? He could hear the director and the rest of the staff attempting to apologize through their laughter but that just wasn't enough. He was growing tired of the random bullshit from everyone, tired of the pointing, the laughing, the so-called accidents that he was pretty sure were purposely being set up for him to fall into. That bucket of water above the door early in the morning? Like anyone stores a bucket of water on top of a partially open door unless they are planning to soak the next person who goes through it. Hell, his clothes still felt rather damp from it and the bump on his head from the bucket was nothing to brush off either. He stormed through the parking lot to his trailer as quickly as he could, hoping to avoid everyone before they had a chance to come after him. His hopes were crushed as he heard a familiar voice call out from behind him.

"Dude. That was totally uncalled for back there", Xigbar shrugged his shoulders in disappointment. "I mean, come on... as if they haven't fallen flat on their faces in front of the camera before either, right? What a shame." Somehow, Axel just wasn't feeling very comforted by Xigbar's concern. As a matter of fact, he felt even worse. "But in all honesty, dude, the way you ate it was just-"

"SHUT UP!!" Axel whirled around and let out a frustrated scream. "I've HAD it with you people making a mockery of me! You know what? I quit!" His hands clenched tightly into fists, his knuckles turning white under his black gloves. "Yeah, you heard me, I QUIT! Q-U-I-T! Got it memorized?!" He slammed the trailer door shut, his mind blurred with anger as it bounced back open, ruining the dramatic ending of their conversation. "Stupid f0cking door!" He growled as he reached out and tried two more times to close the tin door before it finally locked in place leaving Xigbar to stand alone in the parking lot. A smirk spread across his face as he tried his hardest not to laugh at the poor pyro for his misfortune.

Xemnas sighed, tapping his fingers slowly on the smooth white desk before him. He carefully looked at each person on the table. The keybladers and all but one member of Organization XIII were present as well as the director, producer, and the rest of the filming staff. "Well, this certainly puts us in a bit of a problem now, doesn't it?" He rubbed his forehead with two fingers, keeping a steady beat flowing from his finger tips against the hard surface of the desk.  
"We can always continue without him," the director spoke, pushing his thick coke-bottle glasses up the bridge of his nose. "No one would miss him".

"That's not true!" Roxas stood up and exclaimed, all eyes focusing on him, "...I would". He gained a few chuckles from those around him who recognized what he said to be lines from a earlier part of the script that they have acted out a few days ago. He earned a disapproving look from the Superior, Xemnas.

"That is exactly the kind of behavior that made Axel quit, Roxas." the silver-haired leader frowned, "Perhaps if you were to be more mindful of your jokes-"

Roxas cut him off, "Hey, he is the ass who used to pants me in the middle of filming on the first 2 days! You think I'm not going to get back at him for all of HIS pranks?" Xaldin and Larxene both gave a soft snort, silently laughing as they recalled Axel waving Roxas's pants in the air, leaving his white ass and more in plain recorded view. Shooting them both a dirty glance, Roxas continued on, "Besides, it's not my fault that he can't take what he serves." A few others nodded in approval, admitting that he did have a point.

"Either way" the director cut in, "We still need to continue to film. We have a deadline, you know. I say we just get a replacement for him. It can't be too hard to find one."

"Out of the question", Zexion finally spoke up, having been silent through the entire discussion thus far, "Axel plays a very important role in the series. You can't simply cast him aside and think that no one will notice. No one can play his part as well as he can". He brushed his long bangs carefully to one side of is face as he stared down the director intensely.

"I'd have to side with Zexion on that one", Leaxeaus nodded his head in agreement. "It just wouldn't be the same without Axel.  
"Why don't we just convince Axel to come back?" Demyx chimed in, "I'm sure if we just apologize he'll be glad to come back". He gave an excited smile to everyone but was only greeted with looks that could only be interpreted as "WTF?". His smile slowly faded, "I-it was just a suggestion..."

Everyone went silent as they pondered what to do. Convince Axel to return or simply replace him? It was not a decision to be taken lightly. Xemnas broke the silence. "We shall give him a chance. If Axel absolutely refuses to return to the set with us, then we will find a replacement for him immediately". For once, everyone was in agreement.

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_Authors Notes:_ Yeah, ok, that's enough for now. sweat I know it's short but I kind of just wrote this out on a whim. I wonder if anyone is even going to like it? I don't really care if anyone likes it, really. I wrote it out to kill time, honestly. I guess I can try to continue this or something, you know, make an actual effort. Yeah, yeah, I spelled the f-word with a "0" to help censor it. How lame. Perhaps when I have more free time to kill, I'll write out more. Until next time (I hope)! 


	2. Panic! Because of Axel

**Chapter 1: Panic! Because of Axel**

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Axel lay sprawled out on his bed, arms behind his head, feet dangling lazily off the edge of the matress. He gave an exhausted yawn just before a knock came to his door. As much as he would have liked to ignore it, the persistent knocking refused to stop until he opened the door. Grasping the door handle irritably, he yanked the door open and greeted the started Demyx with a welcoming "What the hell do you want?"

Stepping back from the sudden aggression of his slender red-haired friend, Demyx took a moment to regain his composure. "Uh..." He started, still needing a moment to think about what he was about to say, "How's it going?" He gave a half-intimidated smile and wave up the short stairs to the angry nobody. Nervously brushing his hair back into place, he continued when he failed to get a response. "Look... I just wanted to say, uh.. " he glanced around the parking lot where the trailers were all parked, trying to buy even more thinking time. "...come back to us, Axel!" a slight whine trilled through his voice as he spoke, "I know they can be hard on ya but we're really sor-"

"Demyx. What did we discuss about apologizing?" Saiix cut him off as he stepped out from behind the trailer next door. His face lacked expression (as it usually does) behind his locks of long blue hair. Demyx gave a frown, "But maybe that's all he needs to hear.Saix turned his attention from the blond musician to Axel, "Return to the filming set or be replaced. Those are your options, Axel". Saix golden eyes gave a glare that proved he meant business. He was only greeted by a stubborn chuckle.

"THOSE are my options?" Axel wore an amused look on his face, "You're going to replace me if I don't go back? What a joke. I'd like to see you guys try! Maybe if you had stuck to Demyx's method and just apologized then I would have actually returned to the set".

Demyx nodded, excited that his plan would have worked, "See? Apologizing really DOES help". No reaction came from Saix, which disappointed him. "I don't understand why no one will listen to me".

"Does anyone even know the meaning of quit? I said I quit already and I'm NOT coming back." Axel scratched the side of his face with his index finger as he spoke, "That's final. F-I-N-A-L. Got it memorized?" Demyx nodded his head sadly. He didn't want Axel to quit. He was one of the few people who didn't treat him like an idiot. Saix on the other hand looked very pleased.

"The Superior will be displeased to hear that" Saix couldn't help but smirk at the thought of Axel being gone for good. He grabs Demyx's arm roughly and began to drag him back to the studio with as much excitement as his expressionless exterior would allow, "We must inform the Superior of Axel's decision".

And displeased he was.

Xemnas rummaged through his wallet for some munny as an excited Luxord pumped his victorious fists in the air. "You see? What did I tell you? I TOLD you he would refuse to return if you sent both Demyx AND Saix. If you had sent just Demyx then maybe you would have been able to keep your 500 munny. But no!" The blonde gave a hearty laugh, having won yet another bet for the day. His blue eyes searched Xemnas for any sign of irritation or anger from his bragging but only received 500 munny in his hand and an unamused expression from the Superior instead. How he managed to stay so calm all of the time puzzled even the Gambler of Fate. Xemnas had far too many things to worry about to even be phased by loosing a bet with number X. He didn't want to replace Axel. No one can pull the role off better than he can, not to mention that he didn't want to have to think up another anagrammed name for a replacement. Its hard to make certain names sound cool. He was distracted from his thoughts by Luxord, who flicked a card at him. "Hey", Luxord rested his chin on his hand, "Relax. Things will work out".

Xemnas gave a stressed sigh and nodded. "Indeed. But if the director finds out that Axel already said he isn't coming back then we really will have to replace him".

"Then send someone else to talk to him".

"Like who? I sent Demyx already. He was our best bet, considering our top choice, Roxas is being a jerk to him at the moment".

Luxord thought about it for a while, rubbing his beard with his index and thumb, "Hmm... how about those keyblader kids? Sora, perhaps? Maybe not Riku. Riku isn't too fond of Axel".

"Sora and that girl... what was her name?" Xemnas thought hard about that girl in the pink outfit that Sora and Riku are always chattering about, "Karri? Ka'imi? No that isn't it..."

"Her name is Kairi", Luxord corrected him.

"Ah, whatever", Xemnas rolled his eyes, "She isn't that important but at least they don't hate each other so it should work". He stood up and made his way over to the coffee machine and poured himself another mug of mud. "I'll just ask them to do it".

"What makes you think they'll do it for free? You know how big-  
headed those teens can be". Luxord chuckled to himself.

"It's worth a shot, isn't it?"

"Another 500 munny says that Kairi will do it and Sora won't do it until he finds out that Kairi is going to do it". A grin crept it's way onto the gambler's face, a sign that he knew he had the upper hand.

"And 500 munny says that they will both do it regardless of if the other is doing it", Xemnas wagered against him.

And the bet was set.

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_Authors Notes: _Yeah, I know that the chapters are small but I don't really care. I'll end the chapter where I feel like it, ok? Well, I'm trying my best to keep the characters in character yet... kind of not. I dunno. oo; That probably doesn't even make any sense. sweat Anyhow, who will win the bet? Luxord or Xemnas? Stay tuned for the next chapter to find out. XP 


	3. Axel's Self Indulgence

**Chapter 2: Axel's Self Indulgence**

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The room was a mess. Clothes hanging out of the drawers and closets, hair gel bottles scattered across the room, trash and food containers piled in various corners. Axel was tearing through his room as he searched for boxes he could use to pack his stuff up and leave. He had to admit, he was going to miss being a part of the series and all but he absolutely couldn't stand the way people were treating him lately. Especially Roxas. Roxas has never been as cruel as he has been this past week. He began to wonder if he had done something to the boy to make him act is such a manner. His thoughts were interrupted by yet another knock at his door. Hesitantly, he opened the door, "What is it now- oh", he took a step back in surprise, "Kairi... what are you doing here?"

Kairi looked up at Axel from the bottom of the stairs sadly, "I heard you quit. I wanted to say goodbye before you go". Axel stood at the door speechless. Kairi was cute and all, but he never expected her, out of all people, to come see him off. "I wish you could stay, but you've obviously made your choice already" she gave a sigh and walked up the stairs to hug him, " I guess we aren't going to be having those scenes together then. whoever your replacement is going to be, it just won't be the same".

"Kairi, I never knew you felt that way..." Axel was a bit taken back by her forwardness, half expecting a confession of love to spurt forth from her lips. Never has he found a girl to be so intimidating as when they project their feelings. In a way, he felt cornered.

"Kairi!" someone called out from across the parking lot. Both Axel and Kairi looked up to see the bubbly, brown-haired teen running towards them, "You were supposed to wait for me!" He stopped next to her, catching his breath.

"You came!" Kairi glomped him happily, "I thought you chickened out".

"Never! I'm the keyblade master! I'm not afraid of anything" he gave a cocky wink to her as she broke into a giggle fit. Axel rolled his eyes at the sight of the two, despite his relief of having the odd conversation cast aside. Sora looked up at Axel, tiredly. "You know, Axel. I think if you're going to quit... you should stick around to watch what happens". He gave a big grin to the pyro who tilted his head in confusion.

"Why would I want to do that?" Axel mumbled.

"Think about it", Sora continued, "Wouldn't you want to see everyone suffer with the replacement? You KNOW it's not going to be a pretty sight".

Kairi gave a nod in agreement, "That's right!" She added on, "Just stick around backstage and see what happens. You just might get a kick out of it".

Axel gave a sly grin. He liked the idea. "You kids aren't so bad, you know that?" He stepped out of his trailer and locked the door behind him, "I think I'll do just that".

Bad news was not something Xemnas wanted to be greeted with and it spread like a wildfire. He knew it would only be a matter of time before the Director heard about Axel's final say in quitting. Just as he expected, the Director bursted into the room, flinging the door open with a single arm, his coke-bottle glasses sliding off his nose under his rat-ness of short brown hair. "Axel has quit!" He pranced around the room with delight. Can you believe the fool actually quit"  
"Axel is no fool" Xemnas corrected him, "Do you think I let just ANYONE into my organization?" his irritation becoming very obvious.

"Your organization is merely a part of the series, Xemnas", the Director pointed out, "It doesn't really exist anywhere but in the series. Don't take it so personally". Xemnas gave a low growl from the back of his throat as he tried to keep his cool. Oh how he hated dealing with this idiot of a director. He understood nothing. "I already have someone in mind who should be perfect for the part! Just come down to the set and you'll see!" the Director continued. Xemnas raised a curious eyebrow at this proposition. Who could the director have possibly found to be a so-called perfect replacement for Axel?

As they approached the stage on the set, Xemnas couldn't help but stare blankly at the director, "You're kidding, right?" the silver-haired leader asked hopefully. Before him stood what could only be described as an army of Axel impersonators, each one looking worse than the next.

"Isn't it great? These are all of the extras who decided to try out for the part!" the Director exclaimed, proud of his advertising abilities seeing as how hundred of people were lined up in hopes of getting the part.

Xemnas shook is head, "...and how do you propose we sort through them to find the perfect replacement? Not one at a time I hope". Much to his despair, the Director had exactly that in mind. "Well then", Xemnas pulled up a chair to a nearby table, " YOU better get started. I have far better things to do than this".

Hours had passed and the Director finally got through every possible candidate for the position narrowed down to just a handful of contestants. However, finding the Superior was no easy task, since he always made a point of avoiding the Director at all costs. Thus, he continued his hunt for Xemnas, mini army of Axel impersonators following close behind.

Axel watched closely from the shadows. He looked at each of the 15 impersonators closely, determining if any of them were even worth being his replacement. "Hmm... no, his hair is too short... he is just plain ugly... I'm pretty certain that one is a girl..." he nit-picked through each of the impersonators one by one from a distance before deeming all of them in his mind to be un-worthy. "What is that guy thinking? None of those impersonators are even close to being like me!" With a disappointed sigh, he waited until the Director left them outside of the set to do some business before continuing on with them. As soon as he was out of sight, Axel dropped down from the roof, weapons in hand. He glared at each and every impersonator. "Let me tell each and every one of you right now..." Axel began. He never did get to finish that sentence as he was instantly pounced by more than just a few impersonators.

"Axel!" the female impersonator screamed in a voice so high and squeaky that he found he'd prefer having to listen to a recording of nails on a chalkboard in repeat. She was the first to wrap her arms around his thin waist before the rest of the group followed, many following her actions and smothering the poor nobody in the process. Panic began to set in as the mere weight of the group began to press the air from his lungs as he lay there pinned beneath the dog-pile. He needed air. Fast. There was only one thing left to do...

The Director returned to the room, the script and every impersonator's personal information in hand. He couldn't help but notice what looked like an explosion of black ashes scattered about as if someone had set off a huge bin of fireworks in the center of the small waiting room. Dumb-founded, the Director could only stand in wonder as he stared out at the ashes that used to be his potential Axel replacements. His stomach growled as the scent of bacon seemed to linger in the air mysteriously. Hmm... eggs would go well with that.

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_Author's Note:_

So why bacon? I bet that is what many of you reading this are wondering. From what I've heard, human flesh has the same texture as pig meat. So, if you were to classify human flesh in a meat market, you would probably find it in the same section as pork. In a somewhat offensive form (I took slight offense to it at least.), humans could be called "long pigs". Thus the smell of bacon. Got it? No? Too bad. Speaking of bacon... I missed breakfast so I'm really rather hungry... mmm... egg would go well with that... See you next chapter!


	4. Anyway I Want It, That's The Way I Need

**Chapter 3: Anyway I Want It, That's The Way I Need It**

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Xaldin gave a hearty laugh as he watched the panicked red-head burst forth from the tiny waiting room and slam the door shut on the screams of pain and flames that tried to follow him. He held the door shut, his back pushing against it it as the impersonators inside tried desperately to come after him...or escape the intense fire that Axel had just created to get them off of him. Either way, the fact was that they wanted out. With a click of the lock, Axel gave a sigh of relief before turning his attention back to his fellow Organization member. "What's so funny?" He snapped, half expecting the larger man to give him trouble for his attitude.

Xaldin's laugh slowly died off as the scent of bacon flowed from inside the burning room, making him a bit hungry, "Axel, with this current temper of yours I'm surprised that Saix hasn't taken a better liking to you". Number III scratched one of his sideburns with his index finger, considering his last statement in a half-serious manner. Axel gave a curious smirk, "Saix is just jealous that I won the game of rock/paper/scissors to be number VIII instead of number VII. If he had just thrown paper, he wouldn't be stuck with everyone calling him 'Sailor Moon', now would he?" Axel cracked a honest laugh for the first time all day. Xaldin raised a curious eyebrow in Axel's direction.  
"Sailor Moon is hott though" he commented.

Axel sighed, "That's beside the point, Xaldin".

"Either way", the blue-eyed man continued, "Unless you're looking to get in trouble for this, I'd suggest you leave before the Director finds out about your 'message' to the impersonators. I doubt he will be very pleased". He nodded his head in the direction of the exit before continuing on his way down the hall to the break room. He stopped for a moment, turning his head to look back at the aggressive pyro, "For the record" he grunted, "It will be rather interesting with you gone".

"So I've heard" Axel smirked.

"I assume you'll be around a bit longer to watch the unfortunate events unfold?" his dark braids swaying as he spoke. Axel glanced back at the larger nobody, "You'll just have to wait and see".

In the meantime, the Director and Xemnas had quite the problem on their hands. What were they going to do about finding a replacement for Axel now? If only they didn't have to hunt for new people, filming would go so much smoother. That's when the Director came up with another brilliant idea. "Xemnas!" He slammed his palms excitedly to the table before him, eagerly standing up and knocking his chair backwards to the floor, "That's it! We don't have to hunt for new impersonators! Especially since our deadline won't allow for that..." he pushed his thick coke-bottle glasses up as he glanced over at the calendar on the wall. "Why don't we just use whatever actors we have at the moment who don't have many roles? It's perfect!"

Xemnas didn't like the sound of that. This Director wasn't taking his Organization seriously. But what other choice did he have? With the Organization being drop-dead broke, they needed munny to survive somehow. As odd of a thought as it is, Nobodies still needed the essentials to survive. All because they lack a heart doesn't mean they lack other parts, like stomachs, lungs, intestines, etc. No matter how hard Xemnas thought about it he just couldn't figure out why some people didn't understand that concept, the Director included. What all of this had to do with the Directors new idea, Xemnas wasn't sure but he did know that it would have made him angry if he could feel emotion. Oh how he missed being able to feel happy, sad, or angry instead of having to guess if the situation would have made him feel that way. The Superior was snapped out of his thoughts by the Director, who was prancing around the file cabinet with glee over his latest genius idea. If Xemnas didn't know any better, he'd swear the man was trying to nit-pick each and every person out of the Organization for god-knows-what-reason. Of course, he had no proof, but it was just a hunch.

"Ah, here we are" the Director stopped his dancing just long enough to pull out a file before wiggling and sliding his way back to the meeting table where Xemnas was patiently and irritably waiting. He dropped the thin file before the dark-skinned man with a smile that only a mother could love on his face. "This guy should fill in the spot perfectly!"

Xemnas groaned as he glanced down at the file. If he had a heart, this would be the part where it sank into his stomach with dread,

"you're kidding, right?"

Sadly, he was not.

* * *

_Author's Note:_  
I'm aware that this was an incredibly short chapter but I really wanted to end the chapter at this point. I didn't feel like unnecessarily extending the chapter just to get some pages in, so yeah, this one is about 2 pages shorter than usual. But that's ok... right? Pshaw, like YOU have a say in it. Keep reading to find out who is the new replacement! 


	5. It's Not A Fashion Statement, It's Just

**Chapter 4: It's Not A Fashion Statement, It's Just Not Right**

* * *

Roxas tightened his grip on his struggle-bat, glancing around the arena. Everything had frozen as if time itself had stopped. He heard a faint clapping coming from the shadows as a tall hooded figure stepped forth, "Roxas, alright, ya know?" The blonde's jaw dropped as he saw Rai pull the black hood off his head and smile stupidly at him.

"What the fuck?!" Roxas stumbled backwards from the shock, dropping his struggle-bat as he stared at the brute in Axel's outfit. Considering that Rai was a bit of a meathead, Axel's Organization jacket looked just about ready to burst at the seams. Rai himself looked like he was struggling a bit for air, the jacket creaking every time he attempted to take in a big breath of air. Roxas feared he might breath in too deeply and rip the jacket right off.

"CUT!!" The Director jumped to his feet and waved his arms furiously in the air. "That is NOT your line, Roxas". He shouted through his megaphone at the actors on stage in utter disappointment.

"Why the hell is Rai in Axel's jacket?!" Roxas shouted from the center of the set. "Where is Axel?"

"Axel is being replaced, dear boy. Don't you remember?" The Director gave an irritated sigh, "come on, come on... stick to the script!" Roxas couldn't believe it. He thought Axel was just kidding about quitting but it seems he was dead serious. The evidence was right before his eyes in the form of Rai who was busy trying to see if he could still flex in the tight-fitting coat. Roxas cringed as he could see the outline of Rai's butt flexing and relaxing in the stage lights that were supposed to be the sun. How Rai got the position of being the new Axel was puzzling him just as much as it puzzled everyone other than the Director. "Alright, and ACTION!!"

The camera man felt queasy as he leaned close into the actor. Where usually as a professional cameraman, he would have no problem zooming into the actor's body detail, poor Cameraman found himself straining to concentrate placidly as he ran the camera up and down Rai's tight, taught rear side. Catching notice of the camera's attention to him, Rai struck a few poses.

Things were not going well and the Director was embarrassed to admit it. Roxas couldn't keep a straight face, Rai was too busy flexing, and the Cameraman... well he needed to visit the porcelain god for a few minutes. Xemnas merely sat back in his chair with a satisfied smirk, knowing that the Director was beginning to realize just how hard it is to replace the Flurry of Flames. Admitting defeat for this first choice was hard for Director but he knew there was no way around it. "CUT!!" He shouted in frustration. Everyone gave a sigh of relief but Rai, who cluelessly continued to show off his biceps and more. "Rai... your inability to cease the flexing of your muscles have lead me to return you to your original role and nothing more". Director rubbed his temples angrily as Xemnas gave a triumphant laugh.

Rai stood there stupidly staring back at the Director, "Uh... what, you know?" Obviously the musclehead was not understanding what he was just told.

"GET OUT! YOU'RE FIRED!!" the Director screamed from the side, his face red with a mix of embarrassment and anger. Cursing himself for thinking that Rai would make the perfect Axel replacement, he let everyone go on break while he sat and thought things through. If Rai couldn't do it, then who could?

Axel stared in discust at Rai as he walked to the shower room. His extra jacket that Rai wore was completely streatched out and now carried the stench of heavy body odor. As sad as it made him, he knew he would never wear that jacket again. Rai spotted Axel from the corner of his eye and gave a grunt. "If you quit, why are you still here, you know?"

"None of your business. Get out of my jacket, you don't need it anymore" Axel spat. He wasn't in the mood for replacements (or ex-  
replacements) to be giving him attitude. "Why the Director thought you'd make an excellent number VIII is beyond me".

"Well, that's fine, you know?" Rai was getting angry, "You think you're so hott, you know? It pisses me off, you know?!" Rai stripped the jacket off his back and dumped it over Axel's head, the smell almost too much for the poor pyro to handle. "You gotta watch what you say, you know? Cause Seifer'll come take care of you, you know?"

Axel peeled the stretched out jacket off his head and stared at Rai repulsed. "You wore my jacket with nothing else on?!" Rai stood there in the hall in his tightie-whities and nothing else proudly. "That is disgusting! No wonder my jacket smells so... so... DANK!" The red -head's anger was so high that you could see the fire burning in his eyes, ready to lash out at the bigger man.

"You're just jealous that I have muscles to show off and you don't, you know?" Rai proudly flexed again, rotating a full 360 degrees to help show-off the rest of his body, "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to hit the showers, you know? Those stage lights are really hot, you know? I feel all sticky and sweaty now, you know?" With that, Rai continued down the hall towards the baths, stopping every now and then to flex for anyone who happened to be crossing his path.

The Director pondered the situation again. Axel... Axel... how to replace him. This was far more challenging than he originally thought. Sorting through the piles of files before him, he finally came to rest at his second choice. "If this doesn't work..." he pulled off his coke-bottle glasses and wiped them clean before replacing them on his face, "...then we've got a serious problem on our hands".

"No. Then YOU have a serious problem on your hands", Larxene, the organization's only female member chuckled from the shadows. The Director spun around to face her, quite startled. He was certain that he was the only person in the room until now. Her green eyes stood out from the darkness around her as she stepped out into the light where he could properly see her.

The Director's face instantly turned bright red. He had always fancied being alone with Larxene, but this was not quite how he imagined it. Instead of the romantic atmosphere he always dreamed about, this one was rather cold and tense. "W-what brings you here to my office, Larxene?" he questioned the blonde lighting-rod.

"I was curious" she rolled her shoulders and reached her arms out to her sides, stretching, "and bored". Her two antenna-like streaks of hair swayed in the AC that cooled the room.

"So... in your boredom, you came to see me?" the Director asked, a hint of excitement in his voice. "Out of everyone here, you chose me?"

She rolled her eyes. "Don't get the wrong idea, old man" her arms dropping back down to her sides as she approached his desk. With a slight swing of her hips, she hoisted herself on top of his desk, files and all, kicking a leg up and over the other as she casually leaned back onto her hands as if she owned the place. "I'm here to negotiate".

The Director looked confused, "Negotiate for what?" "Organization XIII, of course". She gave the sweetest smile she could muster up, although her eyes still held their menacing charm, "We want better pay".

"You guys get paid just about 7,000 munny per paycheck!" he complained.

"Excuse me? You pay us a total of 6,825 munny per paycheck ALL TOGETHER! That's for all 13 of us! That is a mere 525 munny PER PERSON!" You could almost see the electricity sparking between her antenna-like strands of hair as her frustration grew. "We demand more! How do you expect us to survive?"

There was one thing that the Director loved more than women, and that was munny. There was no way he would cough up more munny to a bunch of Nobodies. He shook his head, "The answer is no. That was the amount you all agreed to being paid when you signed the contract".

Larxene bit her lip. It looked like she was going to have to use plan B. Sliding herself off the desk, she approached the Director and ran her hand along his cheek, "What a shame. And here I thought you were such a kind, understanding, and handsome man". She stuck her bottom lip out in a pout as she leaned even closer to him, her lips almost grazing his ear as she whispered, "That's too bad. I guess you're not my type after all".

The Director let out an almost begging squeak as she pulled away from him and headed for the door. The thought of Larxene actually being interested in him sent his mind going wild. "W-wait!" He reached out and grabbed her wrist, "I.. I can see what I can do about the raise..." he pleaded, "Don't go yet".

She raised a curious eyebrow at the lanky Director. Apparently her acting had worked far better than she had hoped. She was disgusted by what she swore were hearts flying around his head as he held her hand. She needed to play it cool though if she wanted to get that raise. She forced a smile to her face, trying her best to hide her disgust from him. "T-that's wonderful!"

"Let's discuss the possibilities further" the Director adjusted his thick glasses and closed the door to his office to ensure there would be no interruptions.

The sound of excruciating pain soon echoed down the halls.

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_Author's Notes:_  
For you Rai fans out there, I apologize if you don't like how I portrayed him. I have nothing against him, you know? Except for maybe that irritating thing he says at the end of every sentence, you know? Well, maybe not but it's fun to tease, you know? I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. I had fun writing it. I'll do my best to get the next chapter up and out as soon as possible. See you guys next chapter! 


	6. Don't Touch My TraLaLa

**Chapter 5: Don't Touch My Tra-La-La**

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The lights flickered for a bit before finally burning out. Marluxia glanced up at the ceiling lights, knowing well what had just happened. "Looks like the Director went a little too far with Larxene" he mumbled. Axel rolled his eyes and went back to his dirty magazine, obviously uninterested in the affairs of his former employer. Marluxia stared at Axel sternly, "You don't seem to care".

"Why should I care about someone who doesn't pay me anymore?" the red-head snorted, flipping the page of his magazine and rotating it to see the pictures better. "Ooo, this chick has some huge-"

"Axel, I meant Larxene" Marluxia ignored his attempt to change the subject. "Don't you care what happens to her?"

Putting his magazine down Axel gave the pink-haired man a serious look, "Of course I do but Larxene can handle herself". He studied Marluxia's face for a bit, his blue eyes showing obvious concern, "You like her, don't you?"

"She is a fellow organization member, of course I'm going to be a little concerned about her". Marluxia explained.

"Liar" the firey pyro spat, "As a Nobody you are incapable of feeling".

"That's just for the show".

"Don't tell me you believe the Director's bullshit" Axel gave an annoyed sigh, "You're smarter than that".

Marluxia shifted his weight, leaning and resting his head in his right hand, creating a tangle of vines and flowers in his left. His mind began to wander as the lights slowly flickered back to life. Before Axel could say another word, Larxene busted through the door, her face as red as a tomato. Surges of electricity coursed through her body with so much power that you could see them sparking and flying around her as she stormed straight past the two men and straight to the bathroom. The sound of running water and scrubbing soon followed. Axel and Marluxia gave each other awkward glances, wondering what could make her act in such a manner.

"Well? Go check on her" The Graceful Assasin whispered.

"Me? YOU'RE the one blabbing on about how much you are 'concerned' for her", Axel snapped. "YOU go check on her".

Their bickering was cut short by the sound of the door opening for a second time as Xaldin entered the room. He searched the room carefully, making sure that Larxene was not around before speaking, "The Director kissed her".

"He WHAT?!" The Assassin leaped to his feet, his blue eyes ablaze with anger.

"Don't worry, Marluxia, he recieved his punishment already", Xaldin put a reassuing hand on his shoulder.

"So he is dead?" Marluxia growled through his teeth.

"Well...no" The Whirl Wind Lancer gave an uneasy smile as anger spilled forth from his lower-ranked comrad. The only justice he saw was for the Director to experience the worse possible method of dying that existed.

As Xaldin and Axel tried their best to calm their comrad down, Larxene crept her way out of the bathroom, a look of discust almost permanently tatooed on her face. The room went silent and all eyes were on her. She gave a half-tired glance at each man, the electric current no longer pulsing wildly throughout her body. "Is he dead?" she asked. Xaldin shook his head with slight disappointment as a unsatisfied growl escaped the back of Larxene's throat.

"Hey", Axel wrapped his arm lazily over Larxene's shoulder and gave a smug grin, "You know what will cheer you up? Some Sea-Salt ice-cream. Whaddya say, huh?" He looked at everyone else for some back-up support. "Let's all head on over to Twilight Town and get some authentic Sea-Salt ice-cream".

"Ice-cream? How can you feel like going out for some ice-cream at a time like this?!" Marluxia complained, obviously perfering to seek revenge instantly instead of waiting around. It wasn't that he was letting his non-exitant emotions get the better of him, he simply felt that it was the most important thing to do in this current dilemma. If Xaldin were not around, he could have easily taken charge of the situation. His plans rode on Xaldin's shoulders.

Xaldin pondered about it for a while. Vengence? Ice-cream? Both sounded very delicious to him. He took a step back, determining what course of action would best suit the current chain of events. Then it hit him. "I don't think this is something for us to decide", his voice came across clear and strong as usual, accent and all, "This is something for Larxene to decide upon. After all, is she not the victim of this terrible affair?"

Once again all eyes were on the blonde bomb-shell. She glanced around at each of her comrads. As much as she would love to go back and finish off the Director she honestly did not feel like seeing his face again that night. Perhaps another. Holding her hand out in front of her, she opened a portal of darkness that lead to Twilight Town. "What are we waiting for?" She gave a rather cute smile, "Let's go get some of that Sea-Salt ice-cream. None of that generic stuff though" she pointed out. She hated the generic rip-offs of Sea-Salt ice-cream that so many worlds produced. Twilight Town was the only place to get some of the best tasting Sea-Salt ice-cream that she knew of.

"Larxene, alright!" Axel gave a triumpant cheer that just barely drowned out Marluxia's groan of disapproval.

"On one condition of course" Larxene put her hands on her hips, cocking her head to the side, clearly showing that she knew she was just handed the upper-hand. Everyone gave her a curious look, waiting to find out what her one condition would be. Her grin only grew as she spoke, "I get to order as much as I want and you all have to pay for everything. Understand?"

Axel smiled back mischievously__, "You can only order as much as we can afford. Got it memorized?"

"Deal", she was more than happy to empty their wallets of their contents.

And so they set off to Twilight Town.

In another section of the set, the Director lay twitching in a pool of his own saliva. Electricity coursing through his pain-filled body, his eyes returning to their normal position from the back of his head. Oh how painful it was to experience 100 volts of electricity surging through your being, but for him, it was a small price to pay to have his lips grace those of his angel.

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_Author's Notes:_  
Fu fu fu! I had fun with this chapter. I'm trying my best to add at least a little bit of each organization member into the story. So if your favorite hasn't seen any action yet, fear not, they will eventually. Um... I believe I've covered a few so far... Axel, Roxas, Xemnas, Xigbar, Xaldin, Marluxia, Larxene... am I missing someone that I included already? oo; Ah well, if I did then I'll probably be giving them more time in the story later on. Oh, and SEA-SALT ICE-CREAM!! Heh. Ok, see you all next chapter! Jya! 


End file.
